Currents in Literacy

Ana: Finding a Young Writer's Voice

By Carol Bearse

Who am I?

I'll tell you who I am.

I'm a thickheaded person, you know

some things don't go into my head right.

The fuzziness messes up my eyesight.

I'm fun to be with, I'll make you laugh and shout,

I'll show you what fun is all about.

I'm so sensitive, I'm always hurt deep in my heart,

I'll cry and cry until my heart falls apart.

I'm understanding because, my honey, I've been around.

I'll take care of any deepened frown.

I'm a good writer, I'll show you the world through my eyes.

I'll capture the moment and show you the biggest surprise.

I'm patient, as you can see,

I'm trying to tell you all about me.

I'm a dancer with toes so light and pretty,

With painted faces to show you my witty.

I'm a confident person so I do as I please,

I'm my own person, so strong you'll fall to your knees.

I'm trustworthy, no I won't let you down.

I'll carry all your secrets with me all around.

I'm honest I swear, I cannot tell a lie,

But this poem must come to an end and

I'll say it again, "Exactly Who Am I?"

All adolescents ask themselves, "Exactly Who Am I?" Through their writing, adolescents have helped me to understand them a little better. I've learned about their ups and downs and their worries and fears. In the three years that I worked with Ana, the writer of the above poem, I also observed her growth in writing, and her increased ability to articulate her passion for writing. Through her portfolios, surveys, and informal interviews, Ana shared invaluable insights with me about the meaning of writing in her life. Ana stands out to me as a student who found her voice over time. She was a member of my after school writing group for two years; a group that met once a week to share projects or continue the writing we started in class. In eighth grade, she became a leader in her classroom by inspiring other students to emulate her. Ana renewed my belief that writing can become a central force in adolescents' lives.

When I first met Ana in sixth grade I never would have guessed how important writing was to become in her life. I also would never have imagined that Ana would become one of the most prolific writers in our school. A few years later, when I asked Ana to gather together all her writing from Grades 6-8, she presented me with all her journals, writing folders, published books, typed poems, and stories. Attached to many of these were sticky notes with grade level and favorite pieces of writing. Beyond the school portfolio, she had compiled many of her own journals and collections. She showed me her latest endeavors which included writing poems based on interviews with her friends, and stories and poems about abortion, having babies, abuse, boyfriends, and life in the city. She was also working on a longer autobiographical account containing poems and memoirs. Ana is a committed writer, one who writes every day in and out of school. Writing has become a way of life for her. At the end of eighth grade, I asked all eighth graders how they had grown in writing from sixth to eighth grade. Here are some excerpts from what Ana wrote:

"Well, I've always written long pieces of writing. But as I look into my folders I see a great change in the way I write...My lead sentences have grown greatly. They're no longer how a story starts, but the actual way it started in my mind...My details are more captivating. My vocabulary has increased greatly. People lock onto my poems with more interest and wonder because now I don't lead them into a place where stories or thoughts occur, but now I bring them into a world that's more involved. A wondrous world of pain, love, hate, and happiness...That's another thing I've grown in. Poets don't look at the world as "a world" but an imaginable place where the stars sing, and our mother is our earth, our trees our suppliers. A poet can talk to dirt, rocks, and the ocean.....My sweetness is writing poems, but I've learned to open my heart even wider and share with the world. Now I also write short stories on how I feel. I've just completed a memoir also which improved my skills very much."

I am impressed with Ana's assessment of her growth as a writer. She acknowledges the need to have the tools to express herself more clearly. She appreciates knowing more about leads and other genre. This helps me, the teacher, know the importance of imparting to my students in my mini-lessons the techniques that enable writers to develop their craft of writing. Her comments also show me that Ana is developing her unique voice as a poet.

Her sixth grade teacher told me that Ana lived in a world of imagination, and was often moody in class. She loved to be the center of attention, but often she retreated into herself or into her journal. Her writing at that point was mainly superficial but it held many glimmers. In her sixth grade book of memories, she speaks of her fear at the beginning of school and her need to be accepted. She experiments with rhyming couplets. Other pieces include a prose piece on her pet cats and a poem about her secret place in the woods. Sixth grade for Ana is a time for experimentation. She is becoming more aware of the techniques in writing that help her grow as a writer: she is writing more clearly and with more details.

Seventh grade was a year of change for Ana. Her moodiness increased and she was often absent because of depression. She had frequent arguments with her teacher and with peers. Her writing increased this year to include many more pieces that revolved around boys and about the personal problems she was having. I saw Ana using writing more and more to think about her personal issues; class writing was secondary in importance, though she used class time to increase her proficiency in writing technique and to explore topics in the outside world. She was lucky to be in a class that wrote every day; her teacher asked Ana to work on the school newspaper. Ana also joined my after school writing group that year, and that is when I became aware of Ana's many journals and personal poems.

Slowly she began to trust me with some of her most personal work. In "Losing It" she wrote: "My thoughts are running wild in chaos and time is my only distraction. I have no more feeling in my heart, soul, or mind. I have nothing more to feel. I'm losing the way I touch. That touch of me that makes people smile...." Ana was now developing her voice as a writer. She was learning to use writing as a way of creating meaning out of the chaos inside her. Writing had become a personal journey for her.

This was also the year that the school experimented more with portfolio collection. For her portfolio, Ana chose two very different poems, one a poem addressing the moon, and the other a four-page poem about racism. These poems reflect Ana's developing identity, one increasingly concerned with the social issues around her, the other a childlike delight in the natural world.

Let Me Stand in Peace

Yeah, I'm somebody or am I not?

This world is crazy, beatings on the highways and in the parking lots.

Racism's got people wrapped around its hand,

From now to then when the whites got their land.

To the beginning of an awful story where no one wants to be friends,

When suddenly smiles and laughter come to an end.

Smiles into tears, handshakes into fists

Yeah, I know we all want to make it better, but when it all comes down to it, there's no one there to assist.

People wondering and hurting from all the disbelief,

While colored and uncolored walk with great grief.

Little kids losing playmates because of their different complexion,

But you're colored, too, so there's no need for your self-protection.

But it doesn't matter if you're French, Italian, Jewish, Puerto Rican, Dominican, or American.

I mean, you can be as American as apple pie and as Spanish as rice and beans, but there's your face in trouble..AGAIN!

Remember, I'm just a kid so you better know where these words are coming from,

I've always given acceptance to people, now don't you think you ought to give some?

So keep remembering our ancestors of the late and the deceased,

Let's learn from their wisdom and let me stand in peace.

In June, she chose the poem "Let Me Stand In Peace" as her best piece of writing. (See poem at left.) "I feel I let out what I had to say about my feelings about racism. I feel I called out to people who cared and maybe people who didn't. I think it's my best writing also because it's about an issue known in the world that a lot of chaos and madness is going on because of it. I simply explained the ignorance of racism, and the ignorant people who are racist." Ana is very clear about her choice. She is writing with a purpose and a passion. To me, as her writing teacher, I saw this poem as a turning point for Ana's developing voice. Not only does she write to solve her problems, but she now sees that her writing can influence and move her audience.

As a writer, Ana takes time to reflect on why she writes; in many ways she has the wisdom of an adult. She helps me to appreciate the importance of these kinds of reflections, and I try to incorporate more student reflections in my current work with students. She has given me new insights into the minds of committed writers.

In our after school writing group, Ana differed from the others in her group in that she always had a writing project in mind. I saw her backpack full of writing folders and typed poems. She began writing more personal narratives and love poems. Much of her writing concerned her search for identity and her place in her family:

In a town full of crime, disgust, and violence, there was a young girl stuck in the middle of everything. Her name is Ana. Ana Isabel Pineiro. First name: after her abuelita, middle name after her Titi, Isabel, and of course, her last name was given by her father. You must of noticed that Pineiro is a Spanish name. Puerto Rican as a matter of fact. Her ivory skin doesn't give anyone the slightest clue of her Spanish descent. Shoulder length tea brown hair blowing, sea blue-grayish eyes don't help them acknowledge that either.

Ana's about five feet tall and stubby fingers and toes. Nails that always seem to grow but like her hopes and dreams, they always found a way to break...

Ana is very confused. Her heart is breaking. No matter how much super glue she'd put on her heart there was only one thing that would put it back together. Writing. Tough, her writing was tears, beautiful like a waterfall or the morning dew on grass but with a happy ending. Her poems warmed your heart and kept you confused but hurt. Hurt to know the truth you didn't even see....

Ana's piece moves me; she makes me realize the importance of writing in her life. As teachers we can never underestimate the power of writing to make a difference in adolescents' lives. I realized that we must provide the time in our curriculum for writing that comes from students' hearts and experiences. For me, as a visiting specialist, the after school writing group was one way to address this issue. I also tried to provide more in-class time for writing about societal questions. As teachers of adolescents, we must let them know that adults validate their struggle with both inner issues and societal questions. Even though these are convictions that I hold onto, I still struggle with the questions of system and state curriculum pressures versus a more child-centered classroom. I look to my students to help me find the balance.

In eighth grade, Ana continued to write about themes of identity. She wrote more poems about boys, love, and friends. She wrote constantly in class, so much so that she often got in trouble with her classroom teacher because she wrote in her journal instead of doing class work. She seemed much happier that year, and much more flamboyant; her clothes and make-up were definitely those of an adolescent dying to grow up!

Ana also became much more of a reader. She would ask for recommendations from me and borrow books from our resource shelf. In an interview, she flatly stated: "You can't be a poet without reading. Reading and writing go all together." She read Homecoming, Dicey's Song, poetry by Maya Angelou and Langston Hughes, as well as excerpts from I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings. I noticed in her writing reflections of these authors' themes and styles: from Voigt, she learned to explore family problems in a more complex fashion, and from Angelou she incorporated more rhythm into her poems and she learned that writing personal memoir can help a writer move beyond pain into the beauty of words. I began seeing in Ana's writing an increase in vocabulary choice that reflected the variety of her reading. In the vowel poem below, Ana was influenced by the French poet, Rimbaud, and we can see her increasing delight with words:

A is red like the blood that bursts through my heart. Red like the fire that burns in your eyes. Red like the incandescent flow of passion.

E is yellow. Yellow like the rush of excitement. Smiles so bright and overpowering taking the sun's rays captive in its heat.

I is brown. Brown like the cappucino that spills over your eyelashes. Brown like the fuzzy covering that smothers our minds. Brown like this eagerness to taste this sweet and delicious color.

O is black. Black like the midnight sky standing alone and uncomforted. Like your souls' inner mystery full of secrets and hate. Black like a shadow stalking you at night, an imitation of what you are.

U is blue. Blue like the rolling collages of my eyes. The selfishness which lies beneath my heart. Blue like the ink I write with, a creation taken for granted and unacknowledged.

The lyrical language in this poem burst through my heart! I remember this day vividly because no sooner had the class read Rimbaud's poem than Ana was writing. She needed no further explanations or ideas for extended metaphors; she just wrote her vowel poem in one draft with only minor revisions for word choice. I asked her how she did this and she replied, "I just got the ideas when you started reading. I can't wait until you finish because the ideas come too fast!" This experience confirmed for me that as writers we are all very individual in our processes; as writing teachers we need to be more sensitive about each student's needs and allow flexibility in our methods. We need to become better observers.

This poem also illustrates Ana's very sophisticated use of language and imagination. She demonstrates that poets are influenced by the voices of other poets. She easily identified with the surrealistic reach of Rimbaud's words, and integrated the concept with her own experiences.

As part of a unit on realism, Ana wrote a memoir about her grandfather. She had written a similar piece earlier, but now she was ready to expand the paragraphs and details. This brought back a lot of painful memories about alcoholism for her and she struggled with the revision process, trying in each draft to add richer details and organize her thoughts more coherently. She also struggled with the tone of the piece, alternating between anger and love for her Papa. During conferences she kept insisting, "I can't do this. I hate writing stories. You know I'm a poet!"

I gently encouraged her, "But, Ana, you have the ideas all here. Just reorganize them to tell us how you feel about your grandfather. Sometimes it helps to write about the pain. Maybe you can learn something new from this piece. You can still be a poet here. Use your lyrical voice to tell your story." Sometimes we have to push even our best writers to places where they haven't been yet. Sometimes, like Ana, we have to struggle with writing so we can grow into a new genre.

Each class she worked to organize her thoughts. Each class I gently nudged her. When she finally finished, she breathed a sigh of relief. "It's done; I don't like it but it's better than it was!"

Her friends gathered around her. Rosalie said, "Oh, yeah, is that the piece about your grandfather? It makes me so sad. Let me see it." Another friend, Yesenia, interjected, "Yeah, I remember you writing about him from last year. I want to see what you wrote this time."

Students at this stage were always eager to support each other's efforts. They knew how hard this piece had been for Ana. They wanted to applaud her, too. Reading her final draft, I could see that she had not only improved the organization of her paragraphs; she had captured the poignancy of her relationship to her Papa.

Like the Chilean poet, Pablo Neruda, Ana and my students taught me that words sing: "It's the words that sing. They soar and descend." Words helped Ana to soar when she was happy; they soothed her with calmness when she was afraid and confused. Ana has given me insights that help me to teach with sensitivity and caring; her voice continues to brighten my world with the music of words.

WORKS CITED:

Angelou, Maya. l969. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. New York: Bantam.

Angelou, Maya. l986. Poems. New York: Bantam.

Baylor, Byrd. l986. I'm in Charge of Celebrations. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons. Braided Lives: An Anthology of Multicultural American Writing. l991. St. Paul, MI: Minnesota Humanities Commission.

Herschfelder, Arlene B. & Singer, Beverly K., Eds. l992. Rising Voices. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons.

Neruda, Pablo. 1988." The word" in Lives on the Line: the Testimony of Contemporary Latin American Authors, ed. Doris Meyer. Berkeley, CA: University of CA Press.

Voigt, Cynthia. l982. Dicey's Song. New York: Atheneum.

Voigt, Cynthia. l981. Homecoming. New York: Fawcett Juniper.

Carol Bearse is a literacy specialist in Framingham and is a published poet. This piece was written from experiences at the Kane Magnet School in Lawrence, now called the Haverill Street School.